Posted in Journal, Life, suicide, the medical profession, tagged "Apocalypse Now", "Donnie Darko", "Lost", "The System", .touching womeh inappropriately, 7 showed up, alcohol, apartment disaster, Arlo, asthma, blood clot, broken ankle, cast, change, convenience store, dilaudid, doctors, drunk, emergency room, exhaustion, falling, feeling suicidal, festival, giving myself a birthday party, gone into a darkness that does not hurt, grocery, harangued for not reporting him, hate this world, invited 32, landlord, leftover food, meltdown, neighbors ignore me, nothing lasts, one guy finally helps, ortho, physical therapy, rain, rotator cuff, screwed up sleep, separated husband, stroke, the medical profession, ultrasound, wants to get laid, window won't lock, x-rays on 15 July, 2008 | 3 Comments »
14 July 2008
Every day, in May and June, I felt suicidal. I even started planning for it. But then life got in the way, things had to be done, and by July 1st, I no longer felt that way.
But, nothing lasts forever. That’s been one of my thoughts lately. Nothing lasts [...]
Posted in Journal, Life, the medical profession, tagged "agree t0 use knowledge to help womeh", back to bed, media relations, student observerskk intubation, the medical profession, try tomorrow, Vercedm morphine, VIN on 23 May, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
23 May 2008
This awful thing In my life Is now over, and I still live somehow.
The worst was the waiting, and the trying desperately to get someone – anyone – to listen to my fears, my concerns, my needs. They didn’t care about those things. They said all they cared about was my [...]
Posted in Journal, Life, the medical profession, tagged allergies, anesthesia, asthma, bad teeth, cancer, choking anxiety, colonoscopy, deaf, dental surgery, endoscopy, hospital policy, intubation, Katie Couric, medical martyr, missed the bus, mutilation, pain, pills, police, postnasal drip, power, pre-operative, radiation, rules, spina bifida occulta, spinal anesthetic, swallowing anxiety, tonsillectomy, twilight state, vomiting, waking up during anesthesia, x-rays on 30 April, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
30 April 2008
I can’t stop trembling. I can’t stop crying. Everywhere I go, everyone I talk to, gets five minutes of peace before I break down.
Today was my pre-operative nightmare. I was handled by so many people I feel like I have disappeared. That is the way they make you feel: [...]
Posted in Journal, Life, cats, rape, the medical profession, tagged "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", "Mel Gibson - Dream Gynecologist", "Saturday Night Live", "The Wicker Man", anesthesia, bleeding, breast cancer, bus transportation, C-section, cancer, cane, cat, dermatoma, dignity, dislodged tube, Ellen Burstyn, female mutilation, getting drunk, gynecologic examination, gynecology, humanity, insurance, lesbian, male doctors, mourning, mutilation, Nicholas Cage, oncology, ovarian cyst, pain, Pap test, pizza, Quaker, rape, raw emotion, Rolling Rock, scarring, smoking, speculum, spina bifida occulta, student observation, Sudoku, surgery, teaching hospital, thin skin, vagina, veterinarian, vinegar, vulva on 26 April, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
26 April 2008
Yesterday, I met for the first time with my gynecologic oncologist. It was a nightmare.
The first bus I had to catch was ten minutes late, which meant that I probably was not going to be able to catch the second bus to get there on time, and which meant I would have [...]
