October « 2008 « A Difficult Life: Deirdre’s Journal

Archive for October, 2008

Tossed Away Again

Posted in Journal, Life, Love, cats, suicide, tagged black cat tattoo, businesses popped up, cab driver, cats, change, dead businesses, dumps me, feeling safe, friend not allowed to speak to me, friends, I have lost hope, I want to move NOW, killing myself, landlord who will allow 11 cats, Love, mobius strips, no money, no place to hang windchimes, not my home, nothing left for me here, people in the streets, place the cats, plants, porch torn down, roller skating, they changed all the rules, trees, update will, urban nightmare, vines, vines gone, Virginia Creeper, wild place, wildflowers, windchimes, world unkind and not a place I can call home on 14 October, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

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14 October 2008

I can hardly believe my eyes, or myself. Everything is changing so rapidly that I can no longer manage the curves.

When I moved in here, a little over a year ago, I moved into a place that I [...]

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Hiding Under the Black Rock

Posted in Journal, Life, cats, death, rape, the medical profession, tagged suicide, COPD, bipolar, rape, music, pain, x-rays, physical therapy, emergency room, friendship, accidental killing, "aluminum-wearing head", honesty, sarcasm, birthday party, rained, broken left foot, walking, "My Left Foot", absurd, three doctors, podiatrist, mess, half-dozen things wrong with my foot, railroad spikes, heel, The Boot, healing well, Dominatrix, whip, Dommes, right foot, bruised, sirens, Thrush, burning, screaming, welfare merry-go-round, pathetic loser, Food Stamps, note from doctor, rabbi, gas bill, electril bill of over $600, tap-dancing in a roomfull of cats, life threatened, "the boys", suggestion, screamed, every name in the book, threatened to kill me, nearly rammed car within inches of a truck, HIV, low titers, next-door-neighbor, common-law-wife K. falling, shit-infested bull, "get your ass on home, bitch!", trying to call, controlling, won't let her get on the phone, concerned for her safety, called the police, she lied, told to stay on my side of the yard, she lied to the police, stable for 20 years, mental abuse, psychological abuse, emtional abuse, psychology, frustrated, sad, punished her for talking to me, cut off her knitting, threw houseplants on the ground, "I hate you, and I hate your damn vines, too", "I'm going to kill you", called police, she was truthful, file charges, night prosecuter's office, lost card, "What are you doing here?", husband is an asshole, threatened me a third time, losing electricty, losing my air conditioners, losing breathing ability, poor vision, Hurricane Ike, winds, called, harassed the electric company, a week, six days without lights, washer, dryer, stove, hot water, TV and DVD, food all go bad, six days without computer, all alone, candlep-lit dark, hallucinating, panicked, panic attack, can't breathe right, Prednisone, Albutor, Food spoined, Salvation Army voucher, can't breathe, coughing, candles, $300 co-pay, death, sister-in-law, picnic, congestive heart failure, black enough rock, "Your life is going to be a lot shorter than you think on 2 October, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

2 October 2008

Yes, I am back. No, I did not kill myself or accidentally get myself killed – yet. I have two partial entries written, but things kept happening so fast around me, I couldn’t get anything finished before something else fell on top of my aluminum-wearing head (that is a joke). [...]

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A Difficult Life: Deirdre’s Journal

My journal, my life, my struggle

Archive for October, 2008

Tossed Away Again

Hiding Under the Black Rock

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