Posted in Journal, Life, Love, cats, the medical profession, tagged "Always pour soalt over your left shoulder if you spill, and fall in love as often as possible.", angry I was alive, ankle, anniversary, apologetic, appointments, artemisia. "Practical Magic", automatic withdrawals, beautiful green dress, beer, behind on phone bill, behind on rent, broken, bruise, catnip, clinic, cornucopia, crying in pain, denied SSI claim, disappeared, dreamscape, ease of living, exercise, fade away, fibromyalgia, floating, garden, good night's sleep, goodbye, hard to breathe, heat and humidity, hit by a bus, if only they would find me, insurance money, Internet, landlord hates me, lavender, long-distance, losing weight, love and money, lover, madness, medical certification, meds, Neurontin, ortho, pain, patient mode, pill collection, pills, plant lavender for luck and rosemary at your garden gat, psychics, rent, rest, rheumatologist, rosemary and basil, roses and sweets, screams at me, self-care, shut off electricity, sleep, sprain, stay away from stress, submissive, suicide, tomatoes, too curious about tomorrow, Vicoprofen, who wins the election, willing to open my heart, woke up in hospital on 4 August, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
4 August 2008
I feel like I am floating in some strange dreamscape, where nothing is real. I reach out to touch, but whatever I try to touch simply disappears. Perhaps I have disappeared.
The madness continues. Do I really expect it to stop? Yes, I do. I call myself an idiot [...]
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Posted in Journal, Life, Love, tagged "Long Day's Journey Into Night", abandonment, adoptive home, alone, angry, antidepressants, bitter, break up, brother, cat piss, cats, Childrens' Services, drunken, emptiness, Erik Erikson, father, father ignored me, foster home, friends, friendship, hopeless, hurt, Katharine Hepburn, lesbian, lover, marriage was a joke, mother, no love between parents, not fine, not loved, overprotective without love, parents, permanence, photograph, pizza, psychiatric ward, scapegoat, tobacco, Trust vs. Mistrust, walking wound, wine, word games and puzzles, wounded on 4 August, 2008 | 2 Comments »
19 July 2008
I feel abandoned. I feel like I am on an island alone, floating without compass or map, directionless.
Today, a man who called yesterday about her daughter needing an apartment showed up with his wife and child. And she is a child; 21 years old. She is Lesbian, and heartbroken because [...]
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